Chivalry and Courtesy: Medieval Manners for a Modern World

October 17, 2023

Medieval people are often portrayed as having poor hygiene and table manners—licking their knives or throwing chicken bones on the floor. In the Middle Ages, however, such behavior was not tolerated. Medieval society cherished order in nearly every facet of life, from regular handwashing to daily prayer. There were consequences if you didn’t adhere to the rules of good behavior: you wouldn’t be invited to the lord’s next dinner, you wouldn’t win the battle, and you wouldn’t win the lady.

Author Daniele Cybulskie explores the world of etiquette from the time of Chaucer to the court of Elizabeth I, encompassing table manners and interpersonal relationships as well as running a household and ruling a kingdom. With wit and insight, Cybulskie draws on a wide variety of primary sources, from courtiers’ handbooks to romantic poems. Though we may no longer need best practices for things like dueling or ordering about our servants, the principles of generosity, kindness, and respect still apply today. After all, it’s a good reminder to “be companionable no matter who you are with” and to not “chew on bones because that is what dogs do.”

Illustrated with original drawings by Anna Lobanova as well as eighty medieval artworks, Chivalry and Courtesy is full of good advice for everyone, whether you are a peasant or a knight, a student or a CEO, a king or a queen.

  • Playful, learned, and bursting with golden nuggets of information—a joyful book that shows us how medieval history still matters in surprising ways

    Dan Jones, NYT best-selling author of The Templars

  • With dry wit, and an army of scintillating facts, Cybulskie paints a vivid picture of the medieval world, and makes a compelling case for what we can learn from it. A must read for anyone who wants to brush up on the finer points of etiquette, or who just wants to be a better human being.

    Eleanor Janega, author of The Once and Future Sex

  • Danièle Cybulskie has done it again: no one is better at bringing the medieval world to life. From eating to loving, from fighting to (importantly, you’ll see why) kissing, there’s so much to learn from the middle ages, and this wonderful book - supremely elegant, witty, expert and wise - is the ideal guide.

    Helen Castor, author of She-Wolves

  • Filled with gorgeous illustrations and a plethora of images and objects which bring the period to life, Cybulskie's writing is accessible but doesn't skimp on detail or research. Chivalry and Courtesy is just as enjoyable if it's your first time reading about the medieval period or your thousandth.

    Gemma Hollman, author of Royal Witches

  • [O]ne of the most delightful guidebooks you will ever encounter.... Cybulskie's unique voice, well known and loved from her podcasts, draws the reader in and shows how much of the medieval advice literature can also be profitable for the present.... [T]his book will appeal to anyone who looks not only for lessons from the past but also for the sheer pleasure of encountering our medieval ancestors in their daily lives.

    Renate Blumenfeld-Kosinski, Distinguished Professor of French Emerita, University of Pittsburgh.

  • A deliciously droll book of etiquette. The fascinating details might be from the middle ages, but the advice is timeless--and often hilarious. Emily Post was never so much fun!

    Candace Robb, bestselling author of the Owen Archer mysteries